For about the 10,000th time, Harry and I are jumping back in to WoW, predictably right after we canceled our accounts. Until I get a better machine or have more energy in general, WoW continues to be the easiest way for us to have a guaranteed satisfying play experience together. One of the things that’s frustrating me regarding my interest in trying new games, especially ones that I might have to learn to like, is that I’ve just been tiiiired recently. The kind of tired when you get home from work and you can feel your brain flatline. I’m easily frustrated, especially by things that don’t come naturally to me (like most games). I have the irrational (and, frankly, deeply irritating) expectation that if I can’t pick up some new skill or hobby and do it better than most people after five mins I don’t want to try it at all. Call it Precocious Child Syndrome or whatever you like, but it’s exasperating for both me and those around me and drastically limits the kinds of things that I find to be fun. And let’s be honest here. I did not grow up with a game controller in my hand, my family didn’t own PCs (Macs only for us) so I missed the years and years of practice that most of my peers have in twitch aiming, jumping, interface understanding, RTS evolution, etc. Put simply, I suck balls at most games. And I do not like sucking. At all. Not one little bit. I am fiercely competitive (which is why, on this blog you will see such an emphasis on cooperative game play rather than simply multiplayer game play) and that mixed with Harry’s better-than-average abilities at all things game related sets us up for a lot of no-fun interactions.

Going back five tangents, all of this is to partially say that playing and really getting in to a game which does not immediately captivate me in some visceral way is a chore for me. It requires energy and patience and a good mood and a willingness to learn, and when I’m tired I generally possess none of these qualities. WoW, on the other hand is the one game that I feel solidly capable in. I’m no uber god of PvP nor do I know every last little in and out of every spell in each class, but dammit, I know my way around. I had 3 60s back in the day, two of which (the horde ones) got leveled to 70. I’ve at least dabbled in more or less every aspect of the game. I’ve leveled (and how), pvped, raided, helped run guilds, played the AH. I, finally, three years later, feel as though I have fairly good grips on the game. I’m not embarrassed to be see on my main or my alt in their gear, I feel like I belong. This coming from someone, mind you, who refused to run the lvl 60 5 man (back when you could do them as 10 man) instances because I was too afraid of looking like a noob. So playing WoW is easy, and to some extent it’s gratifying.

I would love it if some game would grab me viscerally in the same way that WoW did. I saw Harry playing it and just thought it looked neat, everything about it was novel to me at the time and the graphic style, the nature of the quests, the kinds of characters you could be both appealed to me and seemed like they were inviting to a new player. A lot of people have talked about WoW’s ability to be something of a gateway drug to other games, and I think that’s really true in my case. My frustration is now that I’m here, what do I do?

FPS are generally too hard (sub-topic on hardness levels in games and my irritation at when they make you feel like a giant pussy for choosing easy mode to come some day), RTS’ have evolved in to such a technical and complex genre that I feel if you didn’t grow up with them as they evolved they are very hard to pick up with no prior knowledge. I’ve had good luck (unsurprisingly) with RPGs, but Harry has trained me well, I’m min/max, and most of them are not developed for co-op play. Also, I love a good story line, but ffs STOP WITH THE INTERMINABLE DIALOGUE SESSIONS. And the over serious tone and graphics.* Also, WWII? And WWI? and Vietnam? You were not fun the first time around. You do not engladden my soul. I do not want to escape in my free time to the ever-so-fun hyper-realistic worlds of simulated RL war. So, it seems that I’m a gamer, who likes to game, but hates gaming? I also understand that a lot of this is simple gender lines, and I’m reinforcing all the bias, and my interests are reflective of a still much underdeveloped part of the gaming market, but it’s frustrating. That means, for the time being, we’ll probably be talking some about our re-involvment in WoW and our (seemingly futile) search for other games to play. Hopefully whenever Apple releases the new MacBook Pro line I’ll have some more motivation to try out new and shiny games and maybe I can get my foot in the door with some of them.

*While we’re at it, as much as I love getting to be a Blood elf or an Undead lady or a Troll, WoW is just tongue in cheek enough. There’s something about the dead-serious approach to the graphics that seems to be the norm in most other fantasy oriented games, especially MMOs like Everquest that I cannot play with a straight face. I secretly, kinda, sorta, maybe would take some enjoyment from being an elfin lady of hotness with fairy wings and the whatnot but for the love of god i have to draw the line somewhere for the sake of my dignity. Plus, I am not, NOT going to sink to the level of stereotype of fat-girl-IRL-plays-sexy-elfin-nymph. Nuhuh. nope. My mains are a Tauren and Undead female. This makes me giggle. I like my bovacious heifer.